


The Last Light

by ZeeTaoHime



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blind Character, Crylo Ren, F/M, Jedi Reader, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, reader is blind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-09-25 08:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9811682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeeTaoHime/pseuds/ZeeTaoHime
Summary: You were a senator from the wealthy planet of Naiadphae; where the rich spent their money enjoying the peaceful underwater kingdom and its outstanding flora. Your coworkers respected you for your peaceful ideals and humanitarian campaigns. What they didn’t know was that you, senator Anahita Ogym, were their presumed dead princess. By hiding your gruesome scars under the adorned masks Naiadphae’s elite liked to use and suppressing you Force sensitive abilities, you managed to fool the First Order’s spies and remain alive.Will your planet’s alliance to the First Order ruin your fragile façade?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Kylo won’t make an appearance for a while, but have patience.

“Wich mask would you like to use today, my lady?” The protocol droid politely asked as he approached you. “I was informed that tonight’s cerymony will be formal.”

You smile at it. “They are always formal, ABB-1.” You walked towards the window and touched it’s transparisteel, wishing you were at home, listening your harp’s calm melody. Playing it always bought you peace and hope, things that lacked in your mind filled with fear of being caught. “Just pick one that match the dress.”

“The white mask, then.” ABB-1 said happily and you heard it opening the masks’ cabinet before moving towards you. “Allow me to help you, my lady.” The droid helped you to place the mask perfectly. “You look ravishing, my lady. Should i warn the comittee that we are ready to go?”

“Yes, thank you.” You dismissed the droid and adjusted the voice modulator of your mask, testing it. “I will stay here, I promise.” You repeated the last words you said to him that day, testing the modulator. Perfetc. You exited your quarters and the committee’s chitchat stopped immediately as they started to shower you with stupid compliments. Like always. Politics would be the death of you, really. “We should go, my friends.” You gestured for ABB-1 to follow you. “I would like to maintain my position as the senator who always arrives absurdly early in everything.” You joked to lift their spirits.

Their uneasy laughs filled your ears and you internally groaned. You couldn’t blame them for not trusting you; you were ans unknown face hiding under a mask, talking through an unknown voice ans parading around with a name they have never heard of. By all means, terrifying. You focused on listening to your surroundings, paying close attention to your committee’s steps so none of them managed to sneak away and embarass you by showing up late. One two, three, four… Everyone was being obedient and following you silently, but ABB-1 was unable to remain silent and kept talking about all the guests that would be attenting the ceremony and how you should address them to be respectful. You heard someone walking towards you calmly, you stopped walking and waited patiently for them to get close enough. It turned out that they did want to have a talk with you.

“Senator Ogym, good evening.” The well-known voice of senator Lalita Wu'i spoke in front of you. “May I borrow your attention for five minutes?” He kissed the back of your hand. “I assure i won’t keep you from arriving early to senator Organa’s party.”

“You better keep that promise.” You faked a polite laugh. “I have an image to maintain.” You took a step back to put some space between you and the senator. “What do you wish to tell me, senator?”

He remained silent for a few seconds. “What i wish to tell you must only be said in private, my lady.”

The committee started to whisper and you could feel the rumors starting right there. “I should not leave my companions, senator Wu'i.” You said louder than usual, warning the committee that you could hear them. “I am sure that they can hear whatever you have to say.”

Silence again. Wu'i sighed. “It’s about Organa’s last reunion.”

You tensed. “Leave, now.” You growled to the committee and they hurried back to their quarters, you gave them the perfect excuse to arrive late at Leia’s ceremony. Wonderful. “My droid stays, i need it.” You could feel his suspicion. “ABB-1 can keep secrets, i requested it myself when they were programming it.”

“Lady Anahita is right, my lord.” ABB-1 came foward. “I am ABB-1. I’m a protocol droid, specialized in etiquette, custom, translation, secrecy and caring for the visually impaired.”

“Impressive.” He said, but it sounded more like mocking than an actual compliment. “Come with me, my lady.” He casually got a hold of her army, making you both look like a couple (exactly what he wanted, probably). “Let’s go to my office, a new friend of mine is waiting for us.”

“Very well.” You followed him in silence, slowing him down every time you felt he was trying to leave ABB-1 behind. “Who is this friend of yours, senator?”

“His father is an old friend of mine.” It was his answer. Short. Mysterious. “You will like him, my lady.” The tone of his voice changed. Mockery again. “All women do.”

Ok. You wanted to choke him now. “I am blind, senator. Besides, i don’t have interest in a relationship at the moment.”

“I apologize if i offended you, my lady.” He said quickly, stopping for a moment to enter his office’s password. “It was meant to be a joke, that’s all.”

“Do not try to hide your stupidity behind the ‘joke wall’”. You growled at him and forced him to let go of your arm. “Just tell me what you wish to say.”

“Well, i want to introduce you to this friend of mine.” Wu-i daid and opened the door. “He’s inside, come on.”

“And who is this friend?” You asked with annoyance as you entered his office. “I have no time for insignificant matters.”

“Well, my lady.” The senator sounded scared. “That’s rather-

"I am General Armitage Hux, _senator_.” The inknown voice pratically spat the word. “I am in charge of the Finalizer, ther greatest ship under the possession of the First Order.”

The First Order. Wonderful. “A _General_ , it’s a great honor, indeed.” The voice modulator hid your sarcasm. “May i ask why you decidedto visit the senate?”

Senator Wu'i probably thought that the situation would grow out of hand, and that was the reason he chose to interrupt your chat with the general. “I think i should introduce you first, my lady.” His voice was cordial, it was unusual. Was he scared of the general? That made you curious about the man. Maybe, _just maybe_ , it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go into Wu’i’s head to get a look at the general. Before you could think about it, the senator spoke. “This is senator Anahita Ogym from Naiadphae.” He introduced you first before turning his attention to your droid. “And this is her droid, ABB-1.”

“I am honored to meet you sir.” ABB-1 started talking. “I am a protocol droid specialized in- 

While your droid did his job (annoy people with boring information), you gently pushed your presence into Wu’i’s mind. His thoughts were ambitious, he planned to use you to get a hold of the First Order while using them to get a hold of you. Sly bastard. You calmly whispered in his mind for him to look at the general and he automatically did what you said. He had a very weak mind. Through his eyes, you saw the handsome man. General Hux was elegantly dressed in his First Order uniform, his ginger hair made a beautiful contrast to the black of his uniform. His blue eyes were locked on ABB-1, if he didn’t care about what it was saying, he didn’t show it. Polite. You exited Wu’i’s mind, using your abilities for too long would put you at risk. 

“I heard a lot about you, senator Ogym.” The general spoke and moved closer to you. “Your humanitarian missions made you famous around the galaxy.” And he went silent. 

You remained still for a long time, waiting for him to do or say something. It was Wu’i who interrupted the silence. “She is blind, general.” He said slowly. “That’s why she’s not shaking your hand.”

  You felt the heat on your cheeks. _Oh_.

“I apologize, general.”  You said quickly and your hand searched his. 

He gently (You were surprised he could be gentle) grabbed your hand. “It is my fault, my lady. I had no idea of your disability.” He placed a tender kiss at the back of your hand. “We should go straight to the point, i have no wish to hold you back.”

 “I appreciate it.” You sat elegantly and waited for him to talk. 

“I need to see the queen.” He said. “To discuss about our possible alliance.”

_Shit._


	2. Chapter 1

 

> **“Sometimes the line between friend and foe is blurred.” – Obi-Wan**

Of course your stepmother would hide that information from you. She probably though you would immediately run to Leia and tell everything. At least that bitch knew something about you.

“I was not aware of this situation, general.” You were open with him. “The queen does nogt trust the senate, so I think that’s why she didn’t tell me about it.”

That’s strange.“ It was his reply. "She told me to get in contact with you.” His voice was low, suspicious.

“I assure you, she did not inform me about it.” You said again, calmly. “But I am sure it was a mistake.” You remained firm. “The message must be somewhere in my datapad.. I am blind, it is very hard for me to notice all the messages coming.” You decided to use the blind card.

Silence.

“Of course… I apologize, my lady.” General Hux apologized quickly. “Senator Wu’i is already supporting us and he seemed sure that you knew about everthing.”

Fucking traitor.

“I will get in contact with the queen, don’t worry.” You got up. “You’ll probably get your answer in a few days.” You bowed slightly, a tradition from your planet. “It was an honor to meet you, general.”

“Why should we trust you?” Wu’i said suddenly. “You’re a close friend of the resistance leader.”

Maybe you should force choke him. He seemed to be chasing your death or something. 

“It is your choice to believe me or not.” You tried to remain casual. “But remember that you need me if you want the support of my people.”

He hissed. “Is this a threat?”

“Why would I threaten you?” The mask hid your smile. “The only thing you ever gave me was a headache.”

His thoughs were loud and rude, horrific things invaded your mind as Wu’i started to imagine you at his mercy. You decided to choke him later. 

“Again, it was an honor.” You said once more. “If you excuse me.”

“I hope to see you when I visit Naiadphae, senator.” General Hux said beforee you left. His thoughs were professional, collected.

Such a serious man.

“You are heading in the wrong way my lady.” ABB-1 commented as you made your way to your quarters. 

“Did you receive any messages from the queen?” You hissed at it, ignoring what the droid said.

“No, my lady.” It said. “I am perfectly connected to your datapad and no message from her majesty arrived.”

“Fucking bitch.” You murmured and stopped walking when you remembered that you had no idea where you were going. “Send a message to Leia, tell her I am sorry for not attending her party and ask her to come to my quarters later.”

“Done.” ABB-1 said after a while. “Do you wish me to take you back to your quarters?”

“Yes please.” You stepped aside so ABB-1 could guide you through the corridors. “I forgot that I have never been in this part of the building before.”

“It happens.” It said jokingly.

The image of the general invaded your mind. He was young. _Too_ young. Maybe a little older than you, but still not old enough to become a general. He must be really good at his job. But why would the First Order want your planet? Naiadphae joined the rebels during the Empire and always supported the Republic. Your father would never accept the First Order and now your stepmother was clearly ignoring his wishes. The worst part was that your hands were tied: you were the princess, but revealing yourself could kill you. _He_ would come after you.

“We are here, my lady. ABB-1 interrupted your thoughts.

Thank you.” You said as your hands searched the scanner. “Lock my quarters and contact the queen, we need to talk.”

“Right away, my lady.” It said as you angily threw away your mask, exposing your scarred face. “Oh.” ABB-1 said. “You are definitely angy, she hates looking at your eyes.”

“I know.” You smiled. “I would probably hate it too.” You once thought about your scar, how it cut horizontally right in your eyes. Your bad luck attacking again. “But it doesn’t matter, turn on the hologram.”

The droid said nothing, it was afraid of the queen and preferrer to remain unseen whenever you talked to her. Poor ABB-1, easily scared.

“What do you want?” Her voice echoed.

“Why are you trying to join the First Order?” You were direct. “It is against everything our planet believes _and_  against my father’s will.”

“I will support the First Order because it pays well.” The queen said with mockery on her tone. “And why don’t you put on of those stupid masks? Your face is disgusting.”

“I am on my quarters, Maryla.” You called her by her name. “I will show my face around if I want to.”

Silence.

“Anyway.” You sighed. “You are disrespecting my father’s will, you should-

“Your father is _dead_!” She yelled. “Long gone and there’s nothing you can do about the alliance!”

Your rage reached the limit, that stupid woman dared to spit at your father’s legacy, mocking his death for money. You tried not to loose your focus, your anger could make the Force around you shift dangerously and attract unwanted attention.

You wished to kill her, rip open her throat. “I will-

“You will what?” The queen laughed. “You may be the princess, but if you reveal yourself and try to take away my throne, _they_ will come for you and the crown will remain with me.”

It was the truth, but it hurt anyway. You would forever remain hidden, alone. You would “see” your half brother take the throne that should be yours, you would “see” your stepsister wearing yyour mother clothes and jewels, but you would have to stay quiet. Trying your best to survive. 

“Do you have anything else to say?”She asked.

“No.”

“No what?” Her voice was harsh.

“No, your majesty.” You said through clenched teeth,

“Very well.” She said and the call ended.

You thought about your father. You had failed him.

* * *

_You were training by the lake, master Luke had left with the kids in order for them to build their lightsabers. The previous padawans, now jedi knights, were celebrating with their masters. But not you, your master didn’t think your were ready. You decided to train more. Honestly, you never got tired of training, your force abilities made your special, better than your stepsister. You focused on keeping the rocks in front of you flying, moving them in many directions._

_“There you are.” A deep voice sounded behind you. “I knew you wouldn’t be wasting your time like those idiots.”  
_

_You let go of the rocks and they hit the grass with a soft sound._

_“They are my friends, you know?” You turned around to face the towering image of Ben Solo. “And they are not wasting time, they are celebrating!”  
_

_He sat beside you, a little closer than necessary. “There’s nothing to celebrate about.”_

_You huffed with annoyance. “Of course there is! When master Luke returns, they’re going to meet their new padawans! “You looked at him, finding his gaze locked on you. “I could have my own-_

_“No.” He growled. “We talked about this, Ayn-  
_

_“Don’t call me Ayn!” You yelled at him. “ I am not a little girl anymore!”  
_

_“I am not saying-  
_

_“Yes you are!” You were furious. “Master Luke said i was ready to become a Jedi! But i can’t because you won’t let go of me!”  
_

_You tried to calm down as his fingers trailed the thin scar on your forearm. You know that’s not your fault.” You whispered. “I am alive because of you… You are strong, Ben.”_

_“Not strong enough.” He said darkly._

* * *

You woke up with a aching heart. His memories never stopped tormenting you, but you were not worried about that horrific night. You knew those nightmares very well, but _Ben_ … _Your Ben_ … That was different. He used to call  you Ayn, a stupid nickname one of your friends gave to you. It meant little girl in Naiadphae’s ancient language.

“My lady, mister Bucked  contacted us.” ABB-1 informed. “He accepted your offer.”

“Good.” You sighed. “When will they arrive? I must warn the guards.”

“Probably in a few days.” It answered. “He said they are busy working for the Hutts right now.”

“Hm… When will we arrive at Naiadphae?”

“In a few minutes, my lady.”

You hummed in response. You really needed to fisinish your duties and return to the senate. Far away from the First Order. 

Far away from memories of Ben Solo.


	3. Chapter 2

The moment your feet touched Naiadphae’s soil, one of the royal guards came closer. “Senator, the queen wants to see you." 

 "Wonderful.” You said calmly. “I would love to have a word with her too.” You turned to your droid. “Send a message to Leia, tell her i arrived safely.”

 "Of course- 

 You waited. “ABB-1?" 

 "I turned it off, my lady.” The guard answered. “Your privileges as senator are suspended.”

 "What?“ You turned to face the guard. "Who suspended them?”

 "The queen herself, my lady.“ He said. "I apologize, but my orders are clear.” He sounded sincerely sad about the situation. “ I will detain your droid until the council meeting is over.”

 The gears on your head started to work, trying to figure it out what was happening. Why would the queen do such a thing? She hated you, yes. But she hated dealing with politics even more. You sighed, before accepting the entire situation. “Well, there’s nothing i can do, then.” You said gently, the voice coder of your mask did a good job hiding the change in your voice. “Would you kingly guide me to the council room?" 

 "Yes, i guess i can do that.” He shyly approached you. “This way, please.”

 As you followed the kind guard through the corridor of the palace, you thought about the suspension of your privileges. Did the handsome general warned her about your “suspicious” behavior? Did she drink too much again? Maybe she’s just being a bitch again. You though as the huge doors of the council room opened for you to pass through. She was really good at that.

 "You can go now.“ The queen’s voice echoed. The guard left, closing the door behind him. 

 "You wanted to see me, your majesty?” You asked after a few seconds of silence.

 "Lady Ogym, we apologize for the sudden change of your duties.“ One of the counselors, Merila, said gently. "But we needed to act quickly.”

 "Why all the urgency?“ You searched for a chair and seated slowly. 

 "You have committed treason.” Another counselor, Tolat, said. “That’s why we acted so quickly.”

 You tensed. “Treason?” You were grateful for the voice coder of your mask. “I am afraid i do not know what you are talking about.”

 "Do you recognize this?“ Your stepmother said once more and the sound of a holoscreen being turned on invaded your ears. 

**_Leia, we have a problem._**  It was your voice, at your office, talking to Leia about the First Order. **_The queen decided to support the First Order._** The audio stopped and your heart almost copied it. She was _spying_ on you. She _knew_ you would contact Leia. That fucking bitch.

 "I don’t know what to say.” You said slowly. “I was worried about our people, the First Order’s ‘fame’ is not the most prestigious one.”

 "It was not up to you to decide that!“ Your stepsister, Anaya, yelled. "You are not the queen." 

 She did it on purpose, that bitch. She knew who you were and she felt more than happy to speak to you like that. She was probably wearing your mother’s clothes, she liked to feel like a queen.

 "I was doing what i thought was the best for our people.” You replied calmly. “The King wouldn’t have approved this… And he was the wisest one of all of our rulers.”

 The council started whispering. They agreed with you, but the queen wasn’t used to have her wishes denied… You waited for what they had to say, paying close attention to your stepmother’s angry thoughts. 

_Stupid girl!_ She hissed in her head. _I cannot let her exaggerated sense of honor ruin my plans!_ After that, you knew she would say something. 

You waited for it. “Even if her intentions were good, she committed treason.” The queen interrupted the council’s discussion. “I suggest we dismiss her from her job as senator, permanently.”

 You weren’t expecting that. And by the council’s reaction, they weren’t happy with the queen’s idea. “Lady Ogym has been senator for four years!” Bora said, his voice sounded angry. “She’s the best!”

 You felt a rush of affection towards that old man, a friend of your father. He was one of the few that knew who you really were, he had recognized you immediately and tried to keep you safe from the queen’s envy.

 "She is a traitor!“ Anaya yelled again. "We can’t trust her!”

 "You do not speak here!“ Bora yelled back. "You have no title and no royal blood, so stay in you place!" 

 "Counselor! It is my daughter you are talking to!” You stepmother joined the yelling.

 "Exactly! She is not the daughter of our beloved dead king, she has no right to give opinions here.“ The old man didn’t back down and the other counselors agreed with him. 

 "We must be the ones to decide what will happen with lady Ogym.” Merila said, trying to control the situation. “Lady Anaya should leave.”

 "But…” The girl tried to say something, but her mother as faster.

 "Lady Ogym should become our ambassador.“ She suggested. "We could still use her talents, but her privileges would be reduced enough for no more betrayals." 

 Oh. _Oh_. That was her plan all along. You had to give her some credit, it worked wonderfully. The bitch had planned all of that just to throw you out of your position… She was probably planning to- 

 "And Anaya can take her place as senator.” She dropped the bomb you were waiting for. 

  _And here we go_. You thought as the entire council started arguing.

 "That’s ridiculous, she can’t be senator! She’s not even from out planet!“ Tolat yelled.

 "This is a disrespect!” Merila agreed. “We have lots of talented Phaes that could take the job, we won’t put an outsider to represent us!”

 You knew that wouldn’t end well. The queen could easily blow away your cover if she felt like it and angering her would do you no good. It was time to accept more of her many demands.

 "It’s fine by me.“ You answer simply, drawing everyone’s attention to you. "I loved being senator for my planet, but i think i should slow down… Politics are exhausting.” You felt your stepmother’s satisfaction and that was enough to calm your fears.

 "See? Lady Ogym recognizes her mistakes.“ The queen said happily. "Now, do as i say.”

 Merila sighed. “Well, if there’s no other way…” Her voice became firm. “Lady Anahita Ogym, you have been officially dismissed from your duties as a senator, but you will continue to serve our planet as ambassador.”

 "As you wish.“ It was your reply.

 "But you will remain at your current office.” Bora said. “It was made especially for you, so it remains yours." 

 Anaya wouldn’t like it, but there was nothing you could do about it. Anyway, you hated her.

 "Now, you must go.” The queen said. “I will ask Anaya to contact General Hux, the party organization is up to you.”

 "Party?“ You couldn’t believe she would throw a party for the general.

 "Yes.” She said. “Just do as i say.”

 You sighed. That woman would be the death of you. 

* * *

 "A message from General Hux, my lady.“ ABB-1 said, interrupting the decorator’s speech about how many flowers would be needed for the party. "Should i show it to you now?” 

“Leave us alone for a moment.” You tell the decorator and he  hurriedly leaves the office. “Show it to me.”

 The sound of the hologram reached your ears. “My Lady, if i may ask, are you unwell?” The general’s serious voice said. “I received a very unprofessional message from some girl named Anaya, is she your substitute?" 

 You chuckled. Anaya was probably one of the women that tried their best to get a hold on the general. "Record a response, ABB-1." 

 "Yes, my lady.” The droid answered and the usual bip sound came from it.

 "Greetings, general.“ You said softly. "I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing, but i am extremely healthy.” You decided to be casual about the changes. “I must say that i am not senator anymore, i have become the ambassador and Lady Anaya replaced me.” You smiled under the mask. “Unfortunately, she knows absolutely nothing about politics and has no idea what _professional_ means.” You went silent for a moment. “If you allow me  to make a joke… I think she doesn’t even know how to spell 'professional.” You gestured to ABB-1 and it ended the message, sending it immediately. For your surprise, the general sent his response a few minutes later. 

 "That’s unfortunate, i was expecting to see you once more.“ His voice was still formal, but there was a hint of amusement on it. "I must say that that girl has no talent for politics like you.” His compliment felt sincere. “And about your joke, she does seems rather dumb.”

 You laughed at that. The general had a sense of humor, after all. You didn’t answer his message, you had a lot of work to do. After that little talk, General Hux didn’t seem so inhumane as you thought he was.

* * *

 "What did you do?“ Anaya stormed into your office a few days later.  "What did you say to him?”

 You sighed, dismissing your assistants. “What are you talking about?" 

  "What did you say to general Hux?” She yelled. “Why does he want to talk to you instead of me?”

 She interrupted your meeting just for that? To express her childlike behavior like that? You hoped that the general was able to see a little of it. Maybe both of you could laugh more about your stepsister’s stupid behavior. 

 "Is he here?“ You ignored her question. "He sent me a message saying that he would love to see me." 

 She was fuming. "I knew it!”

 "For the Maker’s sake!“ You groaned. "Stop yelling, stupid woman.”

 "How dare- 

 She yelled once more, but this time it was fear instead of rage. You had used the Force to push her against the wall, but you quickly let go of her. You shouldn’t use the Force with such intensity. _It will kill me._ You thought. _Ben will find me and i will be dead._  

 "Mother will know about this!“ Anaya said as she fled your office, leaving you alone with your worries.

 There was a knock at your door and you knew it was the general. You tried to calm down. Time to be a spy for the resistance.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux is not nice. Kylo can be mean. It’s always nice to have Poe around.

“That girl is annoying.” The general said as he entered your office. “She was a lousy choice, who hired her?”

You smiled. The mask you were using covered only half of your face and Hux was able to see you smiling. “She’s the queen’s daughter.” The sound or your voice suprised the general. “So you can imagine why she was hired.”

“Ridiculous.” He huffed and approached you. “Wasting your talents like that.” His voice sounded offended. “I have never been so annoyed before, that girl is inappropriate.”

You laughed at that. “Well it is the queen’s wish.” You stood up. But may i ask why did you decide to see me?”

“I was told you are the one organizing the party.” He answered right away. “And i was curious, since you are blind.”

You liked him. He was so… Direct.

“Actually, i wasn’t born blind.” You smile at him. “So i can imagine the decoration when they describe it for me.”

Hux went for a moment.

“Would you like to see how is the decoration going?” You offer, gesturing towards the door. “I am sure the queen won’t mind.”

“Of course.” The general said. “If it keeps me from talking to that foolish girl.” He murmured, a hint of amusement on his voice. “Will you show me the way, my lady?”

“It will be a pleasure, general.” You turn your head towards your droid. “ABB-1, do you mind?”

The droid came to life. “It is my job, lady Ogym, nothing would make me happier than guiding you and our honorable guest through those confusing corridors.”

It exited the room and you both followed it, calmly walking and discussing about frivolous things.

“The way you speak to your droid…” The general commented. “It is strange for me, you speak to it like it’s human.” His voice sounded more intrigued than judgmental “You ask instead of giving orders. Why?”

He payed attention, he noticed things. It would be hard to fool him.

“My father used to say that a weak man bark orders angrily, but the wise one whisper it so gently that no one will deny him.” You quoted your father with pride, the usual pain hitting your heart. “I live by those principles.”

He went silent again, probably thinking about what you said. The general chuckled after a while. “I know someone that barks orders.” He commented.

“Other than you?” You said innocently.

“That was rude.” He didn’t sound offended. “I wasn’t expecting that from you.”

“I am full of surprises.”

“I will remember that.” He said in a serious tone. “Is it true that you committed treason?”

You weren’t expecting that question. Should you be sincere about it? Should you lie? If you did decide to lie and the general discovers the truth, he would never trust you again… That would ruin your plans. Well, for the first time on your life since the second Jedi purge, lying wouldn’t help you. Great.

“I wouldn’t say it was treason.” You replied. “I was just worried about my planet’s safety, you must know about the First Order’s reputation.” You turned your face in his direction. “Can you really blame me?”

The general went silent and you knew he was surprise about your honesty. You waited for his response, way to anxious to actually prepare an argument in case he decided to discuss your doubts. You couldn’t tell him you hated the First Order because of some emo dark lord that you used to love. That would sound quite weird.

“The sky here is rather unusual.” He said after a long silence. “We are underwater, but we can see the blue sky and clouds… How is that possible?”

_Did he just?_

“Holoscreens.” You say, unable to hide the shocked tone of your voice. “Moria, our fourth king, thought that not seeing the sky would make the citizens unhappy. They display the stars when it’s night and we also have rainy days.”

“Rain?”

“Yes, but i don’t know how they do it.” You chewed on you lip. The general had completely ignored what you said about your betrayal. Was he pretending you did nothing wrong?

“Fascinating.” Hux whispered before ABB-1 told you that you had arrived. “It is quite exaggerated.” He said. “We don’t even know if the alliance is going to happen.”

“The queen disapproved all my previous ideas.” You sighed. “She told me it was to simple for you.”

He scoffed. “Ridiculous.”

“She is, indeed.” You answered with a small smile. “But what can i do? She is the queen.”

“That’s unfortunate.” The general commented. “I have the feeling you would be a better queen.”

That felt like a knife. If only he knew…

* * *

Later, in your dreams, his voice whispered your name. A desperate whisper. He was remembering, you could hear it. And it hurt you. A lot. He remembered about your days back at the temple, sparring with plastic swords and throwing rocks around. Beautiful memories. To beautiful for the cruel monster he had become. He whispered your name once more before you woke up, your face covered in tears.

Why? Why would he think about you after such a long time? Did he feel you? Did he find out you were still alive? What if he decided to come and kill you? You weren’t ready to be one with the Force. You were afraid.

You left you comfortable bed and ran towards the wardrobe, your hands shaking, and opened the wooden box hidden underneath your clothes. You grabbed both lightsabers and ran back to the bed, you activated them and their sound calmed you. Taking a long breath, you deactivated them, tossing them aside with a frustrated grunt. You couldn’t allow your fear to control you. If anyone saw the lightsabers and tell general Hux about it, you would be in deep trouble.

You sighed and searched for the weapons, holding them close to your chest when you finally felt them. They would take them away from you… If you became prisoner of the First Order, they would probably destroy your sabers. And you couldn’t allow it.

The fact was that none of the sabers you held so dearly were actually yours. The simple green one was your friend’s, his name was Bee, he was born in Naiadphae and had been the one to give you that stupid nickname ‘Ayn’. The second one was not exactly a lightsaber, according to _him_ it was a darksaber. You had found it on the same mission your original lightsaber was destroyed, master Luke decided that you should keep it.

You sighed again and you hid the sabers before deciding to call ABB-1. Maybe starting the day earlier could be useful if you wanted to have some rest before the party started. You walked towards your datapad (always hidden in the same drawer) and clicked the special button. You waited for a few minutes and the door opened.

“My lady, i am glad you are awake.” The droid said happily. “Your friends from Tatooine arrived a few hours ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” You asked slowly, not wanting to yell at it.

“You were asleep, so i thought-

“I told you to tell me immediately after their arrival!” You growled at the droid. “Can’t you follow simple orders?”

“I… I am sorry, my lady.” ABB-1 said fast, it’s robotic voice sounding more human than ever. “I will not repeat this mistake again.”

Fuck. You felt bad. You were under so much stress because of the First Order’s sudden move on your planet that you were affecting people around you. Poor ABB-1 had nothing to do about your problems, it was there to help you in the best way possible. You sighed.

“I’m sorry ABB-1.” You said shyly. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

You heard the droids hurried steps towards the closet and you knew everything was still ok between you. You tried to hide the small smile on your lips, but you felt that the droid saw it.

“I chose a very common dress.” It said. “I hope it helps to avoid catching everyone’s attention.”

“There’s no one walking around the corridors, ABB-1.” You laughed. “Maybe a few guards, but nothing we should worry about.”

“But the queen have spies.”

“I think she’s more worried about all those First Order guys running around a palace full of ancient relics.” You toke the dress from the droid’s hands. “I am glad i chose to hide my lighsabers far away from the relics room.”

“If you did hide them there, Anaya would have them by now.” The droid said. “The little thief, wearing your old clothes…”

You stopped moving. “Anaya is wearing my clothes?”

“Yes.” It said as it searched for a mask. “She likes to feel like the crowned princess, even if she’ll never sit on the throne.”

You remained silent and immobile.

“My lady?” The droid asked after some time. “Are you feeling unwell?”

“Just… Just tell the guards to lead them to theirs rooms.” You dropped the dress and returned to your bed. “I am not in the mood for this.”

“But my lady…”

“Leave!” You yelled at it. “For the maker’s sake, just leave me alone!”

Again, the droid went silent and left without another word.

* * *

When you woke up again, you felt guilty. You acted out of anger. Anger wasn’t the Jedi way. If you gave up to it, you would end up like him. You searched for the dress you dropped on the floor and picked it up, you would wear it to breakfast. 

You heard hurried steps coming in your quarter’s direction. It wasn’t ABB-1 and it wasn’t heavy enough to be a guard. You hoped it wasn’t the queen. The doors opened with a loud bang, making you sigh and cover your face with your hands. You didn’t want the stranger to see your face.

“Ayn, why are you hiding your face?” Mara’s voice sounded angry. “You don’t come for us when we arrive and once one of us actually searches for you, you just hide!”

The sadness your were feeling disappeared and you hugged the woman tightly. He curly hair tickled your nose.

“You still smells like shit.” You murmur to her. “Didn’t you take a shower or something?”

“Bitch.” She whispered against your hair. “After all this time, you just insult me.” She laughs and let go of you. “I was assigned as your handmaiden, since the queen said ABB-1’s presence at the party is completely forbidden.”

“Why is that?” You ask, but you already knows the answer.

“They don’t trust you enough to leave you with a machine full of hidden utilities.” Mara said as she walks around your bedroom. “Do you want to know about the others or will you just stand there?”

“Why would i ask, if you always interrupt me first?” You smiled and sat on your bed. “How are they?”

“Beja and Jorji left the group a few months ago.” She started. Taub and Bucket accepted your offer, just like me.“ Her voice lost the enthusiasm. "Melina, on the other hand…”

“She didn’t forgive me yet.” You said slowly. “I understand.”

Mara stayed silent for a fee seconds, her breaths were irregular. She hesitated a few times before deciding to speak. “She still holds grudge for what happened to Malika.”

“I would be too.” You said kindly, knowing that Mara worried to much.

You both stopped talking and the only noise you could hear was Mara searching for something and the servants walking around the corridors closer to your quarters. When the bounty hunter stopped moving, you turned your head towards where you thought she was.

“Are you really going to wear this?” She asks.

“Well, it’s just breakfast!” You touched the dress.

“Ayn, the celebration starts in 20 minutes.” Mara said.

Oh. That was bad.

“Why didn’t ABB-1 wake me up?” You stood up so fast that Mara took a step back. “I should be there already!”

“The queen told the guards to turn it off.” Mara grabbed your arm and dragged you across the room. “Now, tell me what would you like to wear.”

* * *

The ceremony would be stupidly long. It started two hours before lunch, everyone would walk around the greenhouses and chat until they decided to serve the damn food. After lunch, the guests would make a little tour around Naiadphae’s capital while Hux and his advisors discussed with the queen and the council. Later, after everything was settled, they would announce the banquet. Everyone would eat, chat and go to sleep. Like always.

“I can’t believe you call this a party.” Mara huffed besides you. “There are no fights and not a single drop of alcohol.”

“There is alcohol.” You chuckle.

“But not the strong stuff.” She whispered. “I have to drink more than 15 bottles of these if i want to get a little drunk.”

“Than i am glad you are not allowed to drink.” You joked. “But honestly, i don’t care about the alcohol.” You calmly walked through the garden. “I do not enjoy drinking.”

“Fuck you.”

You laughed when Bucket playfully hit Mara on the back. Making her curse at curse at him.

“Mara, as her servant, you shouldn’t talk to her like that.” He said with a serious tone. “Do not blow away your cover, please.”

“You are right.” She hit him back. “The payment is way to high, i must not die before spending it on whores.”

“You are just an indecent young lady, aren’t you?” Bucked sighed.

“And you are a boring old man!” She answered. “And i am, like, 29! I am not a young lady!”

It was your time to laugh. “Really Mara? 29?”

“It’s close enough…”

“No, it isn’t.” Bucked said. “You are 24, stop whining.”

“You both can stop whining.” You said, paying attention to the movement around you. “Someone is coming in our way.”

They went silent. You regained your composure and waited for the person to come closer. You took a sip of your favorite juice.

“Lady Ogym.” A well known voice spoke to you. “I am honored to finally meet you.” He took your free hand and kissed it gently. “I’m Poe Dameron.”

You smiled at him. “The honor is mine, mister Dameron.” You came closer to him. “We better talk at a more private location.” You held his army. “Pick one of the greenhouses and guide me towards it.”

“Yeah, i can do that.” Poe said and dragged you in a very indiscreet way. Very… Poe-like. He was just adorable. “So…” He started. “Leia is worried about you since that stupid girl answered the video call when she tried to contact you.”

“They accused me of treason.” You whispered to him. “They recorded me and Leia talking about senator Wu'i’s betrayal.”

“That sounds bad.” He said slowly. “Are suspended or you’re never going to be senator again?”

“They made me ambassador.” Your answer said everything. “And i fear there’s nothing i can do to stop the alliance.”

Poe remained silent. His foot hitting the ground repeatedly, passing the impression that he was impatient. “That’s bad, then.”

“No shit.” You huffed and drank the rest of your juice. “I should get going, they notice if we talk for so long.”

“Yeah, i get it.” He stuttered and stepped back. “I will report this to Leia, see you soon.”

“Good bye, mister Dameron.” You said, regaining your extremely formal façade. “I hope to see you again.” You smiled at him before asking a nearby guard to guide you back to the party.

“Who was him?” Mara asked as you came closer to her. “He’s cute.”

“He is a friend.” You sat down. “You might be able to have a word with him when this is all over.”

“You know what?” Mara asked. “I don’t like this version of you.” She poked you discretely. “You were nicer as a bounty hunter.”

“Everyone is nicer as a bounty hunter.” You said jokingly. “Now, fetch me another drink, whore.”

She laughed. “That’s what i am talking about.” You heard her pouring the juice. “Here, my lady.” There was a suave hint of mockery.

“Thank you.” You took the glass and drank a little bit.

“Hey, the ginger hotness is coming this way.” Mara whispered to you. “Look… Professional.”

“Thanks, Mara.” You try not to laugh as you turn to the general. “General Hux, is that you?”

He stopped suddenly, probably because he wasn’t expecting you to assume it was him before he spoke.

“Yes, my lady.” He sat next to you. “I wonder why are you always so alone at formal gatherings.”

“I never really liked them.” You took another sip of your juice. “I hoped i could be sparred from this suffering since i am no longer the senator, but the queen didn’t allow it.”

“It looks like the queen does not appreciate your efforts for Naiadphae.” His voice was cautious. “And she keeps trying to make me spend time with the insufferable princess.”

You smiled. “Better you than me.”

“If you think so.” The general stood up. “I came here to escort you to lunch, my lady.” He said gently. “It it time.”

“Already?” You accepted his hand. “It feels like i just got here. Are you sure?”

“Yes.” His hand rested on your lower back as he guided you through the garden. “I must say i am eager to have another talk with you.”

You understood what he meant. “You expect that my presence will keep the princess from talking.” It wasn’t a question.

“You are a perceptive woman, lady Ogym.” Hux spoke softly.

“And you are a very sly man, general.” You answered with a daring tone.

“You have no idea, my lady.” His voice was low, like he was warning you. “We arrived, my lady.” You stopped. “Allow me to help you.” He pulled the chair for you to sit.

“Thank you.” You replied cautiously as he sat next to you. “I hope you like the food.”

“I am sure he will.” Anaya spoke from the other side of the table. “I love all that is being served and we have so much in common!” The last word sounded like a moan.

“I trust on your tastes, lady Ogym.” The general ignored Anaya. “I am sure you asked for the best food available.”

“I did.” You said, more interested on your stepsister’s obvious frustration. “But asking for the best does not mean you will like it, so stop with the useless pleasantries.”

The shocked gasps echoed around the table, but before someone could comment on your “rude” remark, the chair on your left as pulled and counselor Bora sat on it. “Anahita! I am so glad to see you!” He said joyfully. “ How are you?”

“I am well, counselor.” You smiled at him. “And i am happy to have you here with us, parties can be boring without you.”

“Ho ho, you flatter me.” The old man said before turning to the general. “And General Hux, your presence is much appreciated.”

You didn’t hear his voice, so you assumed he answered with a gesture. The friendly chat continued as the lunch went by, most of the talk involved the First Order. The general sounded satisfied to report about all of his military achievements. Everything was fine, no major disagreement to cause ugly discussion happened. Maybe the queen ha ordered everyone to agree with the general.

The servants started to serve the dessert and you were glad that stupid lunch was coming to an end. Mara helped to serve you, but one characteristic smell scared you. In panic, you stood up abruptly.

“Anahita, are you ok?” Bora touched your arm gently.

“Catfish berries.” You murmured. “I am allergic.” You searched for Mara’s hand and she gently held yours back. “Someone tried to kill me.”

Everyone started whispering, their thoughts were messy as they started to panic and you tried to block them. “I think i will leave… Please, continue the lunch.”

As you turned around to leave, the queen growled at you. “You can’t just make such a serious accusation and leave like nothing happened!”

“What do you want me to say?” You said calmly. “I chose the menu, so there’s no way i asked for the kitchen to make something that could kill me.” You gestured towards the table. “Someone tried to kill me and i do not wish to stay here with any of you. Goodbye.”

You fled the room as fast as you could, probably leaving poor Mara behind to deal with the queen’s rage. As you reached the garden, your hands were shaking and you felt to tired to stand. Giving up about formalities, you sat on the ground and tried to calm yourself.

“That’s a very unexpected sight.” The playful voice caught you on surprise.

“Fuck you, Dameron.” You growled. “Someone just tried to kill me, give me a break.”

“What?” The playful tone on his voice disappeared. “Are you alright?”

“Well, i am not dead.” You joked.

“That’s not funny.” Poe said as he sat by your side. “What happened?”

“Someone tried to give me Catfish berries, i am allergic.” You shrugged. “I smelled it before i could eat something, don’t worry.”

“Do you know who did it? Was it the First Order?”

“I don’t think so.” You murmured. “Their general apparently likes me, so i don’t think they would try to kill me.”

“Why are you so sure?” He laughed. “We are talking about the First Order, the general might be a liar.”

“I know when people lie to me.”

“Oh, sorry!” He said loudly. “I shall never underestimate you again.”

“Now you’re the one trying to be funny.” You gave him a weak smile.

You both remained silent for some time before Poe decide to say something. “So, what kind of information can you give me?”

“About the First Order? None.” You played with the grass in front of you. “General Hux kept talking about his victories and i think the Resistance knows about it already.”

“We do.” He said. “But we need to wait until the official meeting is over and talking is better than doing nothing.”

“You are right.” You smiled. “Do you want to hear the most impressive on first?”

“Please, i only wish to know about the best.” He forced his voice to sound pompous. “Now, stand up. It will ruin your reputation if anyone sees you like this.”

You groaned, but stood up anyway. “I hope you can keep me distracted, Dameron.”

He laughed and patted your back. “I will exceed your expectations.”

You smiled at him before giving an full report of the lunch. As you spoke, you didn’t notice the time passing by. Before you knew, Bucked was at your side to inform that the meeting was over and everyone was waiting at the main hall.

“We must go, my lady.” Bucked said. “Poe can’t come with us, but i will inform him of the results later.”

“I was nice seeing you again, Ayn.” Poe said joyfully. “I hope to see you again. Don’t die, ok?”

“Got it.” You smiled and turned back. “Don’t crash your ship on your way back.”

“That was once!”

You scoffed and followed Bucked to the main hall. All the important guest were whispering excitedly, but no one knew the verdict of the queen. Mara poked you as she stopped right behind you, but before you could talk to her, the queen’s voice caught everyone’s attention.

“Ladies and gentleman.” The queen sounded way to happy. “The alliance has been made.” She made a pause when the crowd cheered. “And we have a beautiful union to seal the agreement.”

You scoffed. Anaya was probably going to marry the General, you would finally get rid of her.

“General Hux will wed our beloved ambassador, Lady Ogym.” The queen dropped the bomb with enormous satisfaction dripping from her voice.

You tensed when everyone started to cheer again, like they actually thought you agreed with that. You couldn’t marry the general, living so near HIM would certainly destroy your façade. As panic invaded you, your emotions compelled you to search for your stepmother’s mind and, ignoring all empathy, you invaded her mind with fury. You felt her pain, but it didn’t matter. Your objective was clear on your mind: find the one that sold you off.

You found the memory and while you expected a betrayal, you didn’t literally get one. The General _ordered_ the queen to force you to marry him… He wanted to have you on his sight all the time, probably to guarantee that you wouldn’t sell information to the resistance.

You exited the queen’s mind as she fell on the ground. Only then you noticed something trying to pass through your mind’s defenses. You blocked it, but it was to late.

He knew.

* * *

You woke up when lieutenant Mitaka gently asked you to. “Did we arrive?” You groaned at him, the voice modulator of your mask made you sound angrier than you actually were.

“Yes, my lady.” It was his simple answer. “The General is waiting for you outside the shuttle.”

“Thank you, Mitaka.” You sighed and got up. “Where are Mara and Bucked?”

“Captain Phasma escorted them to their quarters, do not worry about them.” Mitaka said softly as he followed you.

“Lady Ogym.” Hux’s voice caught your attention. “I am afraid we will have to stay here for a few minutes.”

“Why?” You stopped by his said and held his army. If he wanted to wed you, you would have to act like a couple all the time, fuck formalities.

“I was just informed that Commander Ren is arriving.” He didn’t sound uncomfortable with the contact.

_Oh no_. Not so soon. You weren’t ready for it yet. You frantically reinforced the walls around your mind, hoping that all those people around you would distract him for noticing that he couldn’t hear your thoughts.

Then you felt it. The anger. He was close. The loud sound of the shuttle took dome time to stop and you could finally hear his heavy steps going your way.

“General.” Of course it wasn’t his voice. Like you, he wished to hide. “Who is this? Your new whore?”

You hoped that the way your body tensed was enough for him to loose interest on you.

“She is my consort, Ren.” He hissed. “Show some respect! Don’t you know how to act properly around a lady?”

“A lady?” He mocked. “Is she so ugly that she has to use this mask?”

_It’s alright_. You told yourself. _Stay calm_.

“That’s enough!” Hux growled. “The Supreme Leader will hear about this!” He stepped away from you. “Your attitude could ruin an alliance!” He whispered, probably thinking that you couldn’t hear him.

They remained silent for a couple of minutes. “Very well.” Ren said. “Just assure this not-whore will stay quiet at her place, opening her legs instead of her mouth.” He walked right past you. “Like a good _wife_.”

Asshole.


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows

In one week, Kylo Ren destroyed four rooms and sent ten stormtroopers to the med bay. He was frustrated. To know that you were alive, but “lost”, enraged him. You felt it.  His rage affected you deeply, disturbing your sleep and making you grumpy and irritable. You tried to ignore his influence and have a decent life around the Finalizer. It was working. Your routine was monotonous and stress-free: You would wake up, have your breakfast with Hux, work on the First Order’s diplomacy alongside Mitaka, have dinner with Hux and go to sleep. Simple and easy.  

Sometimes, Hux would drop by your office to see how you were adjusting to things. You had no idea if he really cared since you no longer dared to use the Force to find out. It was to dangerous with Ren on the base. Mitaka entered your office and dropped something on your desk. “General Hux asked me to bring you this vase of flowers.” He said.

“Why?” You sighed as ABB-1 stopped reading some random ambassador’s message.  

“He won’t be able to have dinner with you tonight, my lady.” Mitaka answered. “Would you like to have it served here or on your quarters?”

“On my quarters, please.” You gestured to ABB-1 to continue. “I will be going on a few minutes, I just have to finish this up.”  

“Of course, my lady.” Mitaka said before leaving you alone.  

ABB-1 resumed talking after he left. “Ambassador Muria from Zygerria sent a message , their planet is interested in an alliance.” It said. “He wants a committee to be sent to Zygerria as soon as possible.”

You scoffed. Slavers. Freaking slavers! Why weren’t you surprised? You sighed again, already tired from working for the First Order. Everything you were doing was against your beliefs. “That’s enough for today, I will have to talk with the General about it tomorrow.” You stood up. “Send a message to Mara, tell her to take a break for the rest of the cicle.”  

“Yes, my lady.” ABB-1 beeped as it sent the message. “Would you like to be escorted to your quarters?”

“There’s no need for you to do so.” You smiled at the droid. “Just give me the other mask and Bucked will have me delivered safely.”

ABB-1 helped you change your mask. “Thank you.” You said, your voice distorted by the modulator. “You can turn yourself off now.”

“Have a pleasant night, my lady.” The protocol droid said before turning itself off.  

You calmly exited the room, Bucked was waiting for you outside. “Lady Ogym.” He said with his gentle voice. “This way, please.” He dutifully guided through the corridors. Bucked was 60, but was still strong enough to live as a bounty hunter. An clone from the extinct empire, he had the best training in the galaxy and he knew how to act overly formal and obedient. He didn’t like it, but he knew it was necessary. Bucked was a gentle being… like a father. He had been your father figure after Luke abandoned you and exiled himself. Leia helped a lot, but during the first years after the second Jedi purge, you wanted to forget it all and becoming a bounty hunter on Bucked’s group helped a lot. In a very family-like way, you loved Bucked and Mara.  

“Hey, FN!”  In the distant, you heard an strange voice yell mockingly. “Why do you suck so much at training? Are you trying to be the weak link so the Resistance scum can destroy us easily?”

“I…i don’t…” A weak voice tried to defend itself before being silenced by something that sounded like a hit.

“We must help him!” You stopped. “They’re torturing the poor trooper!”

“I don’t know if we should, it will throw us in the spotlight."Bucked warned. "It won’t do any good. It’s not like they’re going to kill him.”  

Another hit.

“Or… They might kill him.” Bucked whispered.  

You were already at the trooper’s side. “What is the meaning of this?”  

Their laugher stopped. “Who are you?” One of them dared to ask.

“I think she’s the General’s wife, the one that arrived a week ago.” One of them whispered to another. “I mean, she’s going to be his wife.”

“I will not repeat myself.” You said. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Nothing is happening.” Another one said. “We are just having fun, right”

The wounded trooper, FN, agreed.

“Oh, really?” You turned to the offender. “I might have a talk with General Hux about the matter.”

They panicked and it made you smile. “I would leave, if I were any of you.”  

They left quite fast.  

“Thank you, my lady.” The fallen trooper stood up and said shyly. “I apologize for putting you in this situation, but please, don’t tell the General.”

“Why not?” You were confused. “That was serious, you could have been hurt!”

He hesitated. “It’s a sign of weakness.” The trooper whispered. “The General will punish me if you talk to him about what happened.”

You couldn’t believe. That made no sense! Why would Hux punish a stormtrooper for being bullied? Being intimidated by a large group wasn’t a sign of weakness. It was a sign that a person needed help. As you thought about it, you started to feel bad about all those stormtroopers… All those children. Taken away from their families and forced to become killing machines. Lost forever. Sent to die.  

“Are you sure you don’t want us to help?” You were glad that your mask hid your distress. “I could talk to him without mentioning your name.”

“I’m sure!” He said quickly. “Thank you, my lady, but I am fine now.”

“Well…” You whispered. “If you say so.” You touched his shoulder. “Goodbye, then.”

“Goodbye, my lady.” He left.  

Silence.  

“We should get going.” Bucked said. “You need to rest.”

“And he needs help!” You growled as Bucked guided you to your quarters.

“He doesn’t want help.” The man said. “He told you what will happen if you try to do something.”

“Maybe Hux will listen to me!” You tried to convince him. “I could…”

“He won’t listen!” He said firmly when you arrived t your quarters. “Do you really believe he’s kind of nice after what he did? After he decided to force you to marry him and pretended it wasn’t his idea?”  

You couldn’t find an answer. He was right. Hux… was a horrible person. Bucked sighed.  

“I know it’s harsh.” He gently touched your shoulder. “I know that you wish to help them and I am sure that some of them will accept your help.” His tone got softer. “But you can’t save everyone.”

That felt like a knife. No… a lightsaber going through your heart could describe the pain you felt with more accuracy. Bucked was right, of course, but it didn’t help you aching heart to feel better.  

“Just rest, my lady.” He said as he left. “I will fetch you tomorrow after your breakfast with General Hux.”

You waited for him to leave and undressed yourself. Laying down on the bed as quick as possible.  

Did he know about the troopers’ struggles? Did he care? Did Ben (no, he was Kylo Ren now) like to see those poor men and women suffer at the hands of one another? Part of you believed he did, but the part of you that, unfortunately, still loved him screamed at you for thinking he could do something so vile. Even after killing all those padawans…  

You yelled against the pillow, your frustration surpassing your self-control. You had to get over it. Ben Solo was dead! You had to remember that the shy and caring boy that you met was long gone. It wasn’t a happy thought, but you needed to move on. To forget him.  

You cried. A lot.  

* * *

“Your eyes are all puffy.” Mara scolded you.  

“It doesn’t matter, no one sees my face.” You whispered, way to tired to discuss.  

“But what if the General asks to see your face?” She kept talking. “He will ask questions!”

“Mara!” You growled. “Not now, please.”

She whispered an apology and helped you to get dressed to breakfast. Hux asked you to join him on his quarters for breakfast, an unusual event. Usually, he would be the one joining you. Mara grabbed your arm and opened the door. She stopped, tense. You almost asked her what was wrong when Ren’s voice interrupted the silence.  

“Ambassador.” The mockery. “I heard of your heroic act.”

And you came here just to say this? You must have a lot of free time, your piece of shit. You thought angrily and loud, knowing that he could hear you.  

But if he did listen, he didn’t say it.  

“Why so silent?” He asked. “Aren’t you going to defend yourself? The General would not like to know that you’re interfering with the troopers’ training.”

You calmed your thoughts, focusing on nothing but the darkness that surrounded you. Mara decided to speak.

“My lady’s throat is sore, commander.” She stuttered. “She can’t speak.”

He scoffed. “She gets more useless as the time passes.” His heavy steps drifted away. “There will be consequences, Ogym.”  

Why did he hate you so much? Was it because he was a lonely piece of shit and you were going to marry Hux?  

Probably.

“He’s gone.” Mara said and started to walk. “Why is he such a jerk?”

You shrugged, still scared of Ren hearing and recognizing your voice.  

“Ok, no talking.” The silence was your only companion until you arrived at Hux’s quarters. “Here we are.” Mara gave you a brief hug. “Call me when you need Bucked to fetch you, ok?”

“alright.” You whispered and knocked on the door.  

Hux took a while to answer. “Lady Ogym, good morning.” He stepped back for you to enter. “I apologize for making you come all this way up here, but my quarters are closer to my office and i need to be there rather early today.”

“There’s no need to apologize, General.” You tried to smile as he helped you to sit down.“You are a busy man and i am just a stranger on this ship, you owe me almost nothing.”

He sat in front of you. “You are going to be my wife, i owe you lots of things and my attention is one of them.”

“I see…” You started to eat. “I just find it weird that, as your future wife, I don’t call you by your first name.”  

“You should, my lady.” He said. “But only in private. It would be not proper outside our quarters.”

Such a serious man.

“Of course…” You take another bite. “Should I call you husband, then?”

“Just general is fine.” He interrupts you. “But that’s not what I wanted to say.” He makes a pause. “I want to talk about what happened to FN-2187.”

“I helped him.” You interrupted. “That’s what happened and I have no regrets.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Hux warns you. “FN-2187 needed that.”  

“How?” You snapped. “How did poor FN deserves such thing?”

“It builds character-”

“No it doesn’t!” You yelled at the ginger. “It makes him suffer! It makes him warry of his team mates!” You growled. “That type of situation will always and up in disaster!”

“Ogym!” He growls. “Those are MY troopers!”  

“But-”

“Since they are under My command, I am the one to decide wha'ts better to them and you have no right to interfere.” His voice was intimidating. “Not even as my wife.”

The food tasted bitter on your mouth. Before you could stop yourself, you slapped General Hux.  

“See you later, General.” You growl as you stand up. “And please, do not have dinner with me tonight, I have no wish to enjoy your company.”

As you marched towards the door, the general called you.

“What?” You asked harshly.  

“Tell the Zygerrian committee to come in five cycles.” He said professionaly.  

So freaking (and annoyingly) serious.  

When you left his quarters, you hit someone’s chest.  

“Lady Ogym.” An unknown voice said. “I am FN-2287 and i am here to escort you today.”

“Where’s Bucked?” You asked, not minding about the trooper hearing your real voice.

“I am afraid i do not know, my lady.” The female trooper said. “But please, do not worry, it’s just temporary.”

“Very well.” You said. “Take me to my office, then.”

“Yes, my lady.” She said and gently held your arm, guiding you.  

“I didn’t know women could be stormtroopers.” You commented, trying to make her talk.  

“Since the First Order does not use clones, we don’t discriminate genders.” She answers. “Everyone has their value.” She makes a brief pause, like she was pondering if she could say more. “But it’s true that’s few women actually become stormtroopers, most of us become technicians or nurses.” Her voice is full of pride. “But I wanted to become an stormtrooper and I made it.”

“You must be really proud.” You smile at her.

“I am.” She answers happily.  

As you approached your office, you felt his aura. Ren was… frustrated, confused and… Happy? By the sounds he was making, he was walking around your office nervously. The trooper opened the door and gasped.  

“Commander?” She asked, shocked.

“You are here.” He says, but it’s not his voice.

It’s Ben’s.  

He wasn’t using his helmet.

The sound of Ben’s voice shakes your entire being. You weren’t ready.  

“Commander, why are you here?” FN-2287 asked. “And without your mask…?”

He ignored her and whispered your name. Your real name.  

Oh no. Not yet.

“Talk to me!” He growled. “Please…” He says your name again. “I need you to…”

“Commander, what are you-”

The trooper gasps, but this time is because Ren is choking her.

“Shut up!” He yells. “Can’t you see I am talking to-”

“That’s enough!” You say, less firmly than you wished to. “Let her go.”

His emotions were even stronger now. He was so relieved. He let’s the trooper go and whispers your name again, coming closer.

“I thought-”

“Don’t touch me!” You yell at him when his glove hand brushed you arm. “Don’t you dare!”

“But Ayn-” He tried to speak.

“Don’t call me that!” You try to dodged his hand, but you end up stumbling on his mask.  

His relief became confusion. “Take of your mask.”

“No.” You say.

“Take. It. Of.” He growls and you hear FN-2287 gasp again. “Or I will break her neck.”

Defeated, you reach for your mask, tossing it aside. 

There’s silence and his emotions go wild as he storms out of your office. 

The sound of destruction mixed with his angry screams reached you ears and you cried. Again.

It was over now.

You were dead.

He knew now.


	6. Chapter 5

You waited. The noises of his wrath tormented you for minutes as he destroyed the other room and lots of stormtroopers came to check on the situation. The first group immediately ran off when they noticed it was their commander. After that, no other stormtrooper appeared until Ren was over.  

The knight approached you again, followed by stormtroopers. He stopped right in front of you, silent. You waited, your nerves getting the best of you and the shields around your mind started to crumble. You felt him shift, aware of the change. He pushed in, passing through your now feeble mental walls.  

He searched slowly, careful. His presence was soft and calm, the monster didn't intend to hurt you. Ren gently looked at your recent memories, your meetings, dinners with Hux, the entire incident with FN-2187... And Bucked. When the image of your friend popped on your mind, you felt Ren's presence flinch. He had done something to Bucked.  

Fed by anger, your mind snapped back at him, throwing Ren's mental energy away as you entered his head. His shields were down, he weren't expecting defiance. He thought that, like him, you wouldn't use full strength. The monster was wrong. You went on him with all the boiling anger you kept deep down, being messier than necessary just to cause him more pain.  

Ren groaned, he tried to chase your presence rather then to shove it away. You stumbled across memories of him destroying things, killing stormtroopers and technicians... Joy. In the middle of all that anger, you felt joy. You searched for the source of it and found a rather dark memory.  

It was an interrogation room. Cold and uncomfortable; the smell of sweat and blood just made it worst. You were seeing the entire scene by Ren's eyes. He was pacing back and forth, feeling happy, but conflicted. He didn't know what to do. He turned to look at the interrogation table, the  mutilated body of Bucked laid there, immobile. Dead. Ren called a trooper and ordered something. Incinerator.  

The shock and grief made you fall on your knees, abandoning the monster's mind and vomiting your breakfast at his feet. You couldn't take it. Not again. After what happened at the temple, you promised to protect the ones you held dear. You had failed again. You were angry, but not at yourself. It was all his fault. Ren's. The evil creature. The monster.  

"How could you?!" You yelled at him, hitting his chest repeatedly. He didn't react at first, shocked by your little outburst.  

"Ayn..." He said with the characteristic robotic voice, holding you still with a strong grip on your arms.

"Don't call me that!" You hissed and fought Ren's iron grip, kicking violently. "Let me go!"

"The sedative, now." The knight growled at the troopers.

You yelled louder, kicking those who tried to approach you. Unfortunately, Ren held you firmly and you weren't able to avoid the needle much longer. It touched your neck and you felt dizzy, weak. As your vision started to darken, Ren whispered something to you. Calming words. You felt like a padawan again. A padawan mad in love for her master, falling asleep on his arms.  

* * *

 

You woke up on a smooth surface. The strong smell of cleaning products would give you a headache later, but at least they helped you to locate yourself. The med bay. You tried to move your hands, but they were locked at the bed. The sound made by the chains called the nurses attention. They made weird scared sounds and run to call the doctor in charge of you. When he came, the monster came with him. They stopped by your side and you heard a clicking noise you couldn't identify.

"As you see, commander." The doctor said. "She does not react to the light, she's completely blind."

It was one of those small lanterns, then.  

"Is there any way for her to be able to see again?" He asks, no emotion on his voice.  

"We could buy artificial eyes." The doctor said calmly. "The Old Republic used them on their clonetroopers during the clone wars."  

"Can you do the surgery, then?" Ren's hand touched your arm.  

"We can't, sir." For the first time, the doctor was nervous. "The budget team ranked artificial eyes an non necessary expense." He made a brief pause. "We have none on board and none of our sources are specialized on manufacturing them."

You wondered what happened to the stormtroopers who came back blind from the battles. They were probably terminated, you were sure of it.  

"When the sedative wears off completely, send her to my quarters." The monster comes closer to you, its mask touching your cheek. "I have to go on a mission, I'll be back soon."

"I hope you die." You whispered as he walked away.

When he left the med bay, you asked the doctor if he was going to do any more exams. You received no response. Asshole. You closed your eyes, deciding that sleeping would be the best option.  

Until someone decided to storm into the med bay with at least ten stormtroopers.  

_I bet it's Hux._

"Well, resistance scum!" It was Hux. "It seems like you have fooled me, Anahita." He says with disgust. "Is that even your real name?"

"No." You murmured.  

He hissed, but said nothing. The stormtroopers surrounded you and pulled you out of the bed violently. You did not react when they put the electric collar around your neck, just remained emotionless, ready to accept what Hux planned to throw at you.  

"Won't you say anything?" The general spet.  

"I have nothing to say." You answer, your face turned to him. "Just like your soldiers here, I was doing my job."

"Your job." He hissed. "Take her to the detention center, lock her up away from her friend."

Oh. Mara was alive. You held back your tears. No crying. No weakness. You had to stay calm.  

You needed to rest if you wished to save Mara.  

* * *

 

The cell you were in was rather clean. You had an awful bed, a toilet and a simple table for you to eat. You remained there for hours until someone came to give you food: Rice, peas and water. At least it wasn't just bread. You ate quietly, not stopping to use the Force even once; you wanted to know everything everyone was thinking.  

None of the First Order workers had any type of protection around their minds, so it was an easy ordeal to listen to them all day long. You found out that Mara was going to be interrogated soon by general Hux himself by listening to the trooper's gossip. That's why you had decided to act as soon as possible.  

You were now at the second day of your confinement, waiting for the stormtrooper who bought you food. You had a plan and you hoped it worked, because you could get yourself and Mara killed if it didn't work, but it was worth trying.  

The door opened and you turned your head towards the sound of it. The trooper was scared of you, the blind Force user who tried to kick Commander Ren to death. The trooper placed the plate of food at the table and you made your move.

"You will remove my collar." You said, your voice heavy with the Force.

"I will remove your collar." No defiance, good.

"You will take me to Mara and set her free." You continue as  he removes the collar.  

"I will take you to Mara and set her free." He answers obediently and opens the door, rushing you through the right path.  

Since you were being escorted, no one on the corridors dared to say something, allowing you and the trooper a rather calm trip to Mara's cell. Apparently, Hux ordered her to be locked up as far away as possible from you. The trooper stopped and inserted the password, oppening the door.

"My lady!" Mara said loudly. "I thought you were-"

You used the Force to shut her mouth.  

"We must be silent now." You whispered and pointed up. "We most flee using the air system."

"I need a weapon." She comes closer. "If we find any trouble."

"Take the trooper's." You use the Force to open the vent. "We most be quick." You jump into the air system, holding your hand down to Mara.

"Fucking Jedi jumps." She murmurs as you pull her up. "I wished I could do it."

You smile.  

"Let's go..." You carefully crawl. "I will follow the pilot's thought until we reach the landing area."

"You are coming too, right?" She followed you.

"No." You whispered, knowing that she wouldn't like it. "If I go, they will follow us and I want you to be free and far away from these people fuckery."

"But-"

"Shh!" You stop and so does Mara, someone was walking right below you.  

"Take the handmaiden to the interrogation room, I will talk with the Force user myself." It was Hux.

"Yes sir." The trooper answered.

"Fuck." You hissed as they walked away. "Hurry."

Mara remained silent even after the sirens went of, warning the entire base that you two escaped. It became easier to move with all that noise and you didn't need to stop moving even once. You stopped moving at one point, unaware of where you were, exactly.  

"Mara..." You whisper to her. "Do you know where we are?"  

She moves before answering.

"I see the starfighters." She whispers back. "But there's too many people..."

"Shoot something that will most likely explode if you do so."  

"What?" She kind of yelled and whispered at the same time. "It will cause a commotion."  

"Exactly." You smile at her.

"If you're saying so..." She stays silent for a few seconds. You hear de blaster, followed by the explosion. "Just wait a minute, everyone is still running."

You waited, listening to the despair bellow you.

"We can go." Mara says and opens the vent, jumping down. "Come on, I'll guide you."

You fall graciously, making almost no noise.  

"Lead the way." You whisper.

"The closest starfighter is this way." She holds your hand as you both try to reach the Starfighter without being seem.  

"They have trackers." You remember suddenly. "Mitaka told me all First Order ships have trackers in case they are stolen, you'll have to remove it before you leave."

"Shit." She cursers under her breath. "It will take a while..." She stops walking. "Since you don't want to come with me, stay here and distract them when I am ready to go." Mara hugs you. "I'll miss you.

"I'll miss you too." You hug her back. "Now go, and don't forget the tracker."

She hesitates, but runs towards the starfighter as fast as lightening. You know she's already inside of it as you can feel her frustration while searching for the tracker. You hear footsteps approaching and you mentally rush Mara, afraid she wouldn't make it.  

But of course she did.

The sound of the starfighter being turned on was music to your ears.  

"They are trying to escape!" Someone screams. "Shoot it down!"

You use the Force to throw the man away, drawing everyone's attention to you. Good. You quickly hide behind boxes as the stormtroopers start shooting at you, but one of the blaster shots hits you leg. You yell in pain, grabbing your injured leg with one hand and using the other to throw things at the troopers using the Force. You were loosing blood, which was no good.

"Hold your fire!" Hux voice cut the air and the blasters were put to rest. Ren will have your heads if you kill her!" His footsteps were the only sound. "Ayn, isn't it?" He asks you from afar. "Surrender, we have no desire to kill you."

"My. Name. Is. Not. Ayn!" *You practically bark at him. "And you will kill Mara."

"Your friend has gone into hyperspace, we can't find her now." He comes a little bit closer. "Just surrender, Ren has already been warned of your adventure and is on his way back."  

"Like that is going to convince me to follow you!" You yell full of sarcasm.

"If he finds you here, he will lash out at the troopers." You felt the soldiers fear rising at those words. "Is that what you wish?"

No, it wasn't. You chewed on your bottom lip.

"They shot my leg." You cry out. "I can't walk like this.

"We shall carry you, then." He answers and two troopers go near you, rising you to your feet.  

_I can't give up now._ You think to yourself. _If I look back, I am lost._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: Ayn-ren


End file.
